November 6, 2012

Are you a wargamer? Test yourself

Just read this on Big Lees Miniature Adventures and thought it was worthwhile repeating.  You get a point for every YES and the maximum total is 48.  Big Lee is a WW2 and Historical gamer so I've modified some questions to suit WHFB as well as WW2, have deleted some and added some new ones. 

To genuinely call yourself a Wargamer, then you must have done most or all of the following: 

Spent at least $1000 on figures/vehicles/monsters and you get extra kudos for every $1000 you've spent
Um, yeah pretty easily. Big Lees original figure was 500 pounds and I've spent triple that through Maelstrom (but no longer as they're pretty much defunct now) and not sure how much more through Battlefront, TradeMe and other vendors.  (2 points) 

Covered your fingers in layers of superglue to the point where you can no longer bend them
I do this everytime I put something together  (1 point) 

Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever again
Let me see WHFB, Fields of Glory, Warmachine & Flames of War = 4 so nope... 

Bought an army off EBay/TradeMe 
Not an army but definately enough to build several (1/2 point) 

Sold an army on EBay/Trade Me 
Sold three actually - my Fields of Glory 100 years War English which I sold as one lot for $2-300 which I funnelled into my WHFB Vampire Counts.  These I then sold to buy FOW Fallschirmjager.  And last year I unloaded my Warmachine Protectorate of Menoth.  (1 point) 

Spent months painting an army - then used it in anger once 
Nearly - spent months painting Vampire Counts and used them 3 times before boxing them up and selling them.  (1/2 point) 

Tried several different periods/genres or different army books. 
Ogres, High Elves, Dwarfs and Nauticans for WHFB (1 point) 

Dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great height
Several times (1 point) 

Lost a battle on the last throw of the dice 
Several times - worst was to Neil Williamson at Call to Arms 2009 Stubborn Hammerers with a Lord failed a break test on L/Ship 10 costing me 800+ pts and the game. (1 point) 

Had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers table 
Nope - but did see some Historical guys going at it pretty hard at Call to Arms 2012 

Thrown a dice across a room 
Only by accident 

Repainted an entire army simply because
Yep - High Elves and Dwarfs both got redone after seeing how badly they compared against the local gaming fraternities efforts (1 point)
 

Inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent 
Lots - including a couple of memorable 20-0 tournament wins with Dwarfs (1 point) 

Suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision 
Stupid tactical decision is my middle name (1 point) 

Purchased a ton of models that remain unpainted
Yep (1 point) 

Been to a wargamers show/tournament
Yes several (1 point) 

Dressed up in costume while attending a wargaming show/tournament 
I played one event wearing a horned helmet and Dwarven beard (till they got hot and itchy and I took them off) (1 point) 

Have more dice than is logical or necessary to own - and have used most of them 
Definately - dice are evil vindicative beings that turn against you and have to be replaced and some dice only work for some armies and certain rule sets - everyone knows that (1 point) 

Have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates 
Nope but I have taken the odd individual model down to show off (1/2 point) 

You have reference books on each period / army you play or for WHFB/40k relevant fiction. 
Most definately - although I have more 40k literature than WHFB as Im reading and buying my way through the Horus Heresy at the moment (1 point) 

You have lied to your partner / spouse about how much you've spent on the hobby 
She's never asked but like all wives she knows exactly what i'm up to without having to. 

You get genuinely excited when a package arrives in the posts 
Its like Christmas everyday (1 point) 

You get those packages sent to your work/parents rather than your home address so you can sneak the extra models home slowly without your wife/husband/partner finding out how much you spent 
Thats what work addresses are for - and I do this (ahem) a fair bit (1 point) 

You have returned from a wargames show/tournament and sneaked upstairs to hide the stash. 
Ummm like every time (well nearly) but its not like the wife doesnt know (1 point)
You have an irrational aversion to some genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look
Ah the joys of the WM vs. WHFB vs. 40k debate - the only barriers here are money, time and a lack of regular opponents - No for me though 
You have made your own wargames scenery.
Badly a long time ago (1 point) 

You have reached a painting 'wall'  
Hasn't everybody - sometimes you just get really sick of painting the same troop types, and just have to buy a new army to get over it.  That and 15mm infantry are so SMALL (1 point) 

You have lost - and regained - your wargaming mojo. 
Yep happened earlier this year when I got fed up with WHFB but now its back again (1 point) 

You have the occasional (and short lived) sense of guilt with your wife/children when complaining to them about the money spent in clothes, shoes or toys/Xbox games when you have $200 of unpainted metal stuffed in an upstairs drawer. 
Yeap (1 point) 

You have jealously coveted someone else's troops.
All the time (1 point)
 
You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as someone else's paint job 
Nope - because I remember how crap my stuff used to look and everyone starts somewhere.  Plus when it comes to painting the only opinion that matters is the one belonging to the guy who owns the army, if they like it then its all good.

You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops on the table to show off your wargaming knowledge
Occassionally - but the fluff is so much fun (1 point)
  
You have contradicted someone elses' trivia - demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.
Does contradicting people who refuse to accept that Dwarfs are the best WHFB race count?  (1/2 point)

You have caused a major disaster on a wargames table (spilling a pint, collapsing the table, dropped someone else's figures on the floor). 
Couple of minor mishaps unfortunately (1/2 point) 

You have cheered and/or danced a jig when an opponent's dice lets them down at a critical point
Yep - although not too loudly as the dice gods might hear me (1 point) 

You have lied to your partner about going gaming.  "Mothers' not very well - just popping around to see her. I'll be back in about - oh - seven hours". 
 Sort of - I have (ahem) bunked off work early a couple of times and taken the odd long lunch break to get some gaming in. (1/2 point) 

You have lied to an attractive woman (man) - not your partner - about being a wargamer.  
Only by omission (1/2 point) 

You have made an opponent cry.  It doesn't count if they are under 8 years old though. 
Probably only Pete whenever he sees that I've entered Dwarfs in a tournament and he realises that he might have to play against them (1 point) 

You have collected and painted multiple armies of the same type 

Nope   

You have reference or official source books on armies you haven't even got.
Nope  

You have bought figures for a game/army/historical period you have never and will never play - because they were cheap
Yep brought a whole pile of Lizardmen once not sure why - ended up giving them away (1 point) 

You have inflicted grievous bodily harm on a dice that has let you down
No but I have research the best forms of dice torture in order to punish those who disobey me (1/2 point)  

You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming activities
Well Duh!!! (1 point) 

Your book collection is almost all war, wargames, Sci-Fi or Fantasy related
Not quite but pretty close (1/2 point) 

You critique 'war' and 'fantasy' movies (especially Hollywood movies) for historical/gaming accuracy.
All the time  (1 point)

You spend car / train journeys checking out the lie of the land - considering which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wargaming terrain.
Um - have to confess I do a certain amount of this while driving down to Wellington for tournaments (1 point)

Total 34/48 (70% Wargamer!)

3 comments:

Lee Hadley said...

Excellent set of answers (and thanks for the linkback!).

John Murrie said...

Not a prob :) Really enjoy yr site

Jeff Kent said...

40/48, I think that means I am terminal?